Short Intro
If I have learned anything from my experience so far it’s that life is constantly changing and unpredictable. Our attempts to make sense of it intellectually have a limit. And as long as we stick within that limit, we’re ok. But when we pass that limit and try to rationalize everything, we are entering an area that our rational mind is not yet prepared to navigate. The only absolute truth that I can accept is the NOW, perceived in a state I call presence…
This blog’s purpose is to describe from an authentic, vulnerable position my life as a father, partner, brother, son, entrepreneur and inner-explorer and my attempt to create a balanced life with purpose and enjoyment.
Why english? I am Romanian, and I love the sound and structure of my language. The ideas expressed on this blog are not Romanian, though. They are intended to be global. So it is only fair to give them a global audience, in order to get feedback and keep improving in that direction.
BIO
I was born in September of 1989 in Bucharest. I was 3 months old and 500m from the National Television Studios when the Revolution was going on. My mom prides herself by saying that I was listening to the last congress of the communist party when I was in my crib. Apparently some bullets found their way into our house during the Revolution, but nobody was hurt. .
I was raised in a middle class family in Bucharest. I always had a powerful spiritual relationship with my mother and a strong reliance on paternal confirmation.
My dad was around less then I would have preferred but sufficiently so to provide a solid example of morality, achievement and generosity. He was also the one who introduced me to racing in general- especially Formula 1 , motorbiking, classic cars, British craftsmanship and Japanese culture – especially related to continuous improvement systems.
I would discuss life’s most complicated questions with my mom. I still do. Her unconditional and unequivocal love has been the fundamental pillar of my growth. The mini-trauma inducing remarks that she sometimes utters innocently have also have also been extremely useful in my development.
Silviana, my sister, is 9 years older then me. The age difference and the fact that she grew up in a completely different country than I did (Communist Romania vs Post-comunist Romania) made it challenging for us to communicate in our early years. It wasn’t really until a trip to Vietnam that we really connected and started a bond of mutual appreciation that held us together through a lot of difficult challenges ever since. Working alongside her is a pleasure as well as an honour. Her work ethic and capacity of getting shit done are world class.
I went through my first 20 years being of average intelligence, but having an ability to communicate that compensated wonderfully both in school and socially.
One notable event during these 20 years is the moment I crashed my car. It was a brand new Infiniti FX 35 and I totaled it. The next morning, after seeing the car, my dad swung by the house on his way to the airport. He handed me the keys for his car (an Infiniti G35-same engine, less body, RWD)- a car I was very rarely allowed to drive. I was all teared up, and all I could say was “Why?” and he answered “Because I know how I raised you and I am sure you have learned your lesson.” I hadn’t learned my lesson. I would have probably done the same stupid thing I did to crash the first one. But truly feeling the honesty and trust in his voice changed me forever. I never drove recklessly ever since. And this moment has become the corner stone of my belief that some people, if treated with honesty and trust can change in the most astonishing ways.
Family
I feel like the person who understands me the most, especially in our most intricate philosophical inquiries is my partner and co-parent, Ramona. She truly is the Yin to my Yang and I feel most grateful to have met her.
We have been through a lot together trying to define our relationship and knowing us, there are still many more lessons that we will be learning together. My relationship to Ramona and the learning and healing it provides should be an article on it’s own- if not a book.
2013 was a special year for me. I met Sisi, my daughter, for the first time in February and saw my dad for the last time in May. It was a challenging year, but it was the year that most evidently sparked my growth as a human being and brought me closer to my family, including Ramona’s mom and brother.
Sissi is a wonderful young lady. Although she looks exactly like her mother, she is a mini me in terms of behaviour. The only difference is that she is way more involved in school and lightyears more talented than I ever was in both sports and arts.
Our son Pacs was born in the summer of 2019- 6 and a half years after his sister. He has his mom’s stubbornness and purity of heart. He knows what he wants and you have little chance to convince him otherwise, unless you REALLY take the time to do it. But I have never seen someone react to authentic presence more powerfully than him.
We’re far from that perfect family where everything falls into place, and when things don’t we just accept it and make the most out of it. My relationship with Ramona is the perfect mirror for my inner relationship with myself. Our relationship with the kids is a perfect mirror for our own relationship, and so on. Family life is our main training ground and I am grateful to have such a blessed journey.
BADSI
BADSI is the business my father founded more than 30 years ago. It started out as a Nissan Importer and Dealer. It is currently an Automotive Network providing services that range from fleet management to classic car trading.
BADSI was what you would call a distressed business when Siviana and I took over. We managed to turn the business around by legally and operationally restructuring it. We enlisted help from almost all family members in different moments of this turnaround.
It represents my link to my father and to the very solid world of car business. It is where I learn to trust, to measure, to align and to delegate and most importantly to be present. I am lucky to have a MEGA team who I love working with.
SERVE
SERVE is the first winery founded in post-comunist Romania by my mother Mihaela and her late husband Guy Tyrel de Poix.
It is a blessing to have the chance to stick my nose in winemaking and it is where I best learn humbleness. Our team in SERVE, lead by my sister Silviana is stelar, though!
Other Projects
During the past 15 years I have been involved in multiple projects around tech, sustainability and education. I learned a lot. But I also burned a lot of energy . I decided to focus on the family businesses, because I felt that it was the only way to ground myself and restrain from jumping on every opportunity .
Depression… or Burnout (because depression sounds… depressing)
My father’s death was for me an opportunity to experience the most reality altering period of my life: depression. The details are unimportant for the scope of this article, but what I learned is that reality doesn’t exist as an objectively definable truth. That our mind plays a critical role in interpreting and ultimately creating our reality. I also learned that we are responsible for our wellbeing in order to be in the best condition to help others and that although the decisions we need to make in order to be well are hard, the clarity and energy they provide us with are more than enough to compensate. I overcame my depression by learning to accept myself as I am which provided me with a lot of energy to invest in improving . Meditation, Sports, proper Sleep and Nutrition, Therapy and Coaching helped a lot.
Coaching
In the midst of my depression, I was contacted by Alain Cardon MCC. I had already done a workshop with him and was inspired by his extremely different, very intuitive, profoundly authentic and of course systemic way of training. He asked me if I was ready to do the Fundamentals ( a 4 month, 2 days per month training with a 70 peer-practice sessions monthly target). Silviana, who did the training before me had told me that the program would turn my world upside down, so I told Alain that given my then-current state of mind I didn’t know if I was up for it. His answer: “From what I hear, your world is already upside down. The worst thing that can happen is to get it back to normal…” and that’s precisely what happened. I took time off work, started the training, gave it my all and I am still experiencing the effects 3 years later.
I understood through practice the nonlinearity of time, the importance of authentic presence during a conversation, the kind of space you create for a person when you take away all the judgment and just listen to what she has to say and so many other almost magical things. I learned the value of true modesty, or not taking myself too seriously as I mentioned before. I also learned that using modesty as a way of not assuming responsibility back fires violently.
I am currently accredited as a Coach by the International Coach Federation but I don’t coach anymore.
I still have regular talks with Alain whom I am honoured to call my dear friend and mentor.
Philosophy
I am a Christian Orthodox by baptism and I often observe myself viewing philosophy from a Christian perspective (a paternal frame of reference), but I try to keep an open perspective while studying as many views on philosophy and religion as I can.
In short my view at this time is: There is a force uniting all things universal and that force manifests itself from the micro to the macro in an infinite web. There are different civilizations that have understood different aspects of this universal force. I don’t think humans are or have ever been able as a community to fully connect to that universal force. I also do not think that humanity is the most advanced form of life in the Universe.
For me, it is more important to act based on the understanding that you currently have and improve based on the feedback, than to constantly hide the lack of action behind acquiring more knowledge.
Wisdom is something to strive for. The moment you think you have it is the precise moment you should know you don’t.
I resonate more with Eastern religions(Buddhism, Hinduism) than Western ones, but I am not religious. I meditate. I try to do yoga.
You should know:
- I don’t send my texts to anybody before publishing. I get my critique online.
- My opinions will change from time to time and I will try to present that in this blog
- I feel comfortable with uncertainty and I will not be replying to comments that invite empty polemics. I will, however, clarify where it is necessary, answer pertinent challenges, and engage in casual conversation about interesting stuff
- I do not promote any company or service. My references to companies and projects I am involved in are intended usually to emphasize a point rather than for advertisement. Bringing them into attention is a helpful side effect.
Trivia
- I am passionate about enduro motor biking, Kendo, horse riding, classic cars, fine wines, ice baths and nature.
- I love spending time with kids, not only mine
- I have 3 herniated disks and am constantly exercising to compensate
- I sometimes could be described by the socially accepted term “lazy”, but I have a sense of priority that guides me through the important checkpoints of life and I strive to be a better worker everyday
- I’m interested in sustainability but I’m challenged by where to draw the line…